by Michael Liss
“You should look into this, perhaps
write a little something about it.”
When Ed suggested something to you, it always emerged gently
from his mouth as if on a cloud, and somehow morphed into a command by the time
it reached your ears. He beckoned, I came, and now we were sitting together in
one of his conference rooms, a MacBook and a bottle of unsweetened iced tea
between us. My brand, in fact. It was a signal—he was telling me he knew,
although we hadn’t talked in some time, that I’d gone cold turkey on Diet Coke.
Of course he knew: he always knew, always was so wired in, always five steps
ahead on everything. When we first met, roughly fifteen years ago, I had the
absurd idea we were equals, but it took all of about a week for me to realize
the central fallacy of that conceit. Still, he was remarkably good at
recognizing and employing other people’s talents. And so, there would be a call
or an email, and I would find myself conscripted to be a foot-soldier in Ed’s
Army for some worthy cause.
I
opened the iced tea, he clicked on a short
YouTube clip, and I got my latest marching orders. Poke around, ask some
questions, use that marvelous disguise of harmless late-middle age that allows
me to pass unseen among men. Amass information, report back, write and post
something. Topic: Bugs Bunny For President.
Of
course, it sounds absurd, but, just how absurd is anything in politics these
days? And Ed is a serious guy—if he’s lobbing this little gem at me, it means
it’s not just him, but others in his happy little group are also considering
it. So, on assignment, as it were, I’ve spent the last few weeks thinking,
researching, looking at data, and talking to people. What I’ve found was that,
the more I learned, the less irrational it seemed to be. Bugs Bunny for President.
Doable. And desirable.
Bugs Bunny for President. But, what are the next four words? How
do you get there? First, there’s the question of Constitutional qualifications.
Article II says “No person except a natural born citizen, or a citizen of the
United States, at the time of the adoption of this Constitution, shall be
eligible to the office of President; neither shall any person be eligible to
that office who shall not have attained to the age of thirty-five years, and
been fourteen Years a resident …” That Bugs was born here, that he’s older than
35 and been a resident for 14 years is probably better documented than any
prior Commander in Chief. The problem is that overly picky word, Person. We all
know Bugs is quite proud of being a Rabbit. But is he a “Person” as was
intended by the Framers? If not, game over.
To this end, I thought I would start with someone most likely to
give me a “no,”, a prominent legal scholar who, given that he’s presently
short-listed for a Court of Appeals seat, insisted on anonymity before he would
even see me. He floored me with his response; Possible. Conservatives might be
unwilling to attack Bugs on Person grounds. “Don’t expect them automatically to
be out front on this. The Obama thing is over. And you have to see the bigger
picture—ever since SCOTUS decided corporations are people too, no one on the
Republican side of the aisle wants to start splitting hairs over it.”
Maybe
Person would be off the table. But what about the normal scrutiny, fair or
unfair, that candidates have to undergo as part of the vetting? How about Bugs’
personal (rabbital?) life? Could there be a “Bunny Eruption?” Rabbits do like
multiplying, and, while there’s never been a hint of a scandal of this type
during his film career, a step out into the political limelight might carry
some risks. Bugs was known to have an eye for the lady lapins, (wooing both
flesh and blood bunnies and the
occasional robotic one) and it’s not inconceivable that a love-child
or two (or 20) might be lurking about. Disqualifying? No one I talked to was
willing to hazard a guess as to whether the existence of multiple
unacknowledged Bugs progeny would impact a race. “Unchartered waters” is what I
heard from several people.
Character issues could be key. We all live lives of
imperfection, and opposition research on such a public figure would be
comparatively easy. There’s no question Bugs can be a wise-guy who occasionally
takes things a little too far. Does that impact his gravitas? I kept thinking
about Richard Neustadt’s formulation that Presidential power is a function of
the ability to persuade. Persuasion is rooted in personal credibility and the
capacity to project authority. The Leopold clip clearly showed he had both, but
was that sustainable in the more corporeal world? After all, we are talking
about someone who doesn’t even wear clothes all the time–an interesting
metaphor for any politician, but still….
Perhaps this particular moment in history, the day-to-day
tweet-and-shriek-fest emanating from Washington, creates an opening? A GOP
operative gave me an intriguing insight: “Think about it. How do we attack on
any of those issues? First, there’s a huge risk of boomeranging, because he’s
very widely known and liked. Second, does anyone really understand what the
rules are anymore? Are there any rules? Are we really going to talk about
pleasantness, moral rectitude or the fact that he’s a media personality who
lacks prior government experience? My team already had our generational
flip-flop. I just don’t think we can use it. Maybe if he runs in the Democratic
primary someone would soften him up for us.”
Democrat
or third party, he’s still a rabbit. And while there’s nothing wrong with being
a rabbit, if you are running as an outsider, being a billionaire has its
advantages also. How does a rabbit gain credibility as Commander in Chief?
Would the military be comfortable with Bugs? “More than you would expect” said
a retired Defense Department official who had worked in several
Administrations. “To a certain extent, you are never going to escape the
ingrown preference the brass has for those who have served. But Bugs’ personal
heroism gets him a lot of street cred: That footage
of him rescuing the Earth from destruction by Marvin Martian is
actually based in fact. The entire truth was never disclosed to the public.
After the crisis was over, it was decided that the best way to obscure the
details was to have it animated. And let’s add something else: Politicians
generally don’t understand the Military. They think of it as either an
expensive nuisance, or a first-person shooter game that they can play at being
real soldiers. Bugs does get it: Listen to his rhetoric, look at what he does,
and you can see he gets it. Bugs knows when and where to draw a line in the
sand. When he says “of course you know, this means war!” he’s serious. “That
gets a lot of respect where I come from.”
Where is Bugs on the ideological spectrum? He clearly doesn’t
fit the contemporary model of either Republican or Democratic. He appears to be
liberal or libertarian on some social issues, the environment and the arts, but
conservative on military and economic ones, particularly on spending and
regulation. Yet that economic conservatism doesn’t translate to being a
plutocrat—his personal life is notably Spartan, basically a hole in the ground
and a healthy supply of carrots. Not only does that set a good example, it
could give him real credibility in negotiations with Congress on some sort of
shared sacrifice/Grand Bargain.
And,
how does that translate to electoral success? What does a winning Bugs
coalition look like? The consensus of the people I spoke with is that personal
qualities will have a big impact. Bugs is resilient and suave, in a sort of
Daniel Craig wink-at-you-way. That’s going to play really well with younger
voters and Millennials. He knows how to get things done and doesn’t take
himself too seriously–that could impress Gen-Xers and Boomers. He’s going to
have some issues with Evangelicals, who would likely be uncomfortable with his
irreverence, and 2nd Amendment types (he’s not a huge fan of hunting). Support
among Seniors was more iffy, with Bugs getting the “Woodstock and Opera
Vote” while losing a lot of folks who, professed open-mindedness
aside, are just not ready to vote for a Rabbit.
Digging deeper, a veteran pollster offered the following:
“Forget the demographic crosstabs for a minute. The country is torn between
order and disruption. Trump and his base want disruption as a means of
fostering a Trumpian order. The Warren-Bernie wing of Democrats want resistance
that disrupts Trump’s disrupting. But there’s a third group, and it’s really
hard to quantify its size, that, in a very strange way, mirrors the
dissatisfaction of crossover Trump voters in 2016. They are tired of the status
quo—both the old one and new Trumpian one. They don’t want Warren-Bernie, they
don’t want Trump, they aren’t looking to go back to the 1950’s. These folks
want serious problem-solvers, and if you have followed his career, Bugs does
that over and over. And, maybe more importantly, they want a cultural reset—not
a purge, but a change in tone that restores some sense of community and
national purpose. I know that sounds amorphous, but a Bugs Bunny candidacy
could unite them. He could win.”
Bugs could win. So, let’s measure the drapes a little early. It’s
January 2021, and he’s being sworn in. What does his Cabinet look like? I asked
a New York-based political consultant whose firm works with more centrist
members of both parties. He literally drummed the desktop with glee.
“It’s a
grand slam! Bugs wins as a unifier, he owes nothing, no baggage, he picks who
he wants. You do have to bring in some of the people from the campaign to show
Bugs isn’t just being co-opted by the Deep State. I’d skip Daffy. Too much ego,
doesn’t work and play well with others. And
he’s greedy.We have enough of greedy. Elmer Fudd for Press Secretary is a
very good choice. Bugs likes him, and thinks he comes across as genuine. People
forget that Elmer was the big star on vaudeville before anyone had heard of
Bugs Bunny. Elmer was a real pro about how it all turned out—it’s not easy to
play second fiddle, and Bugs appreciates it. There’s trust there.
“Then, you start constructing my Dream Team. Bill Gates and Tim
Cook. Michael Bloomberg at Treasury. Meg Whitman and Elon Musk, maybe. Be a
little bipartisan. Joe Biden Interior, Kasich for Education. Think really
big—bring back both Obama and Bush—State and United Nations—man, you want to
Make Diplomacy Great Again, you can’t make a bigger statement to the world.
Find a place for Nikki Haley. Richard Haass and Max Boot. Tim Ryan at PwC is a
really bright guy. Mary Barra and Ginni Rometty. There’s a lot of talent in
this country, you just have to harness it. Bugs Bunny for President. Make it
happen.”
Make it happen. Above my pay grade. Last week, I went back to
Ed’s conference room, my own unsweetened ice-tea and write-up in hand. “Less is
more,” he nodded approvingly. “Now, tell me what you left out. What did you
really learn besides that it was possible?”
We talked for a few more minutes about disappointment in
government, about false paradigms and fake news, the value of the private
sector and the damage you do to capitalism and democracy when you replace
informed Burkean responsibility with grifting and ignorance.
He nodded, stood, and our time was over. “This is good. Clean it
up, and I’ll look for it on Monday. Have a conclusion?”
I did. Bugs Bunny, our nation turns its lonely eyes to you.
Read more at:
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